ICBM Program Quotes #63
Sixty Third Edition of The: Top 10 Quotes Overheard in the ICBM Program


Posted Saturday, March 26, 2005

  
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10) “Silence is agreement.”

9) “Could we put him on mute…permanently?” – overheard during a teleconference

8) “It’s sort of like ‘Plug & Play’, but with VAX it is more like ‘Plug & Laugh’.”

7) “Anything less than six flights per year we are just farting into the wind.”

6) “ICBMs are always the last part of the dog to get licked.”

5) “You had better know how to swim before you open the floodgates.”

4) “I will, no doubt, find the toxic limit for caffeine in the next few days.”

3) “If, for Christmas, you give me a 24kt gold box with a turd in it, what have
you given me? I’ll give you a hint, it isn’t a gold box.”
– Reference to an ICBM modernization program

2) “Berkeley was the reason we built the Neutron Bomb so as to spare the relatively
innocent folks in Oakland.”

Now, the #1 quote overheard in the ICBM program…

 


1) “If DOE were in charge of loading Minuteman into the silos, you would have a 300 foot tall, tornado-proof, seismic-reinforced, aircraft-deflective, dust-explosion-proof, mosquito-resistant, wildlife-friendly, Faraday cage above the Transporter-Erector that was built by the lowest bidder to allow the missile to be lowered at a rate of no-more-than one millimeter per week. This would be backed up by an OSHA/EPA/SPCA/DNFSB/NNSA/CIA/AFLCIO/NOW approved hydraulic lift with safety net at the bottom of the hole, just in case. America would then be able to load OR unload one missile every three years unless there was a labor dispute or paperwork error.”


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BT
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NUMBER NINE EIGHT - SPECIAL COMM SYSTEMS EDITION!
EOM
BT
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